Posted by: A. Voter | May 1, 2008

MayDay! MayDay! The blackberries are attacking…

It’s May Day today!

Looks like fun, eh? But alas, not for us beleaguered hardworking North Americans. Apparently we’re too busy checking our Blackberries to kick up our heels.
Or at least, so said a newspaper article I read yesterday. It would seem that the Blackberry is fast becoming the 21st century incarnation of the bullwhip. Bosses are handing them out left, right and centre and expecting employees to check them at all hours, leading to massive overtime, apparently.

So, what is the solution to this dire problem? Why, litigation, of course.

Some lawyers and work-life experts say other employers should be taking note if they want to ward off potential lawsuits or massive overtime bills.

Hmm… I wonder if the “work-life experts” have to carry Blackberries too? If not, it sounds like a fab job. Where do I sign up? But I digress…

In the United States, legal experts are warning that a new wave of overtime litigation is on the horizon, in which employees will claim overtime for all the hours they’ve spent clicking away at their hand-held devices.

And will this tidal wave of litigation be created by said “legal experts”, perchance?

But I have no doubt we’ll hear about lawsuits on this issue in the very near future. And I shall look forward to seeing how the courts deal with counterarguments by bosses regarding all the time spent by the employees on YouTube, eBay and – yes – their Blackberries for personal reasons during office hours?

Quantification of damages in these lawsuits is going to be a real bitch, no?

But seriously, things have gone way too far on both sides of the spectrum. Bosses are making unreasonable demands on time, and employees are getting addicted to the very machine which enslaves them. Not to mention acting completely rudely in my company by playing with the Blackberry while I’m trying to talk to them. Enough already!)

I’d like to call for a national “Smash Your PDA” day, myself. If I were dictator, any employee who willingly relinquished their Blackberry would get an automatic month off work with pay. The bosses wouldn’t even notice, probably, and would have to spend the month Emailing each other.

If you agree, why not write to your political representative today demanding freedom from the tyrant Blackberry. An appropriate start date?

Why, May 1st, of course.



  1. I agree with your tyrannical but useful policy. What other benefits will we see as part of your campaign? šŸ˜‰

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